Now, I know it’s not appropriate to toot your own horn but from last father’s day to this one feels like a mother effing flip side! In fact I’m going to go back and see what I was doing last father’s day right now!
.I have returned.
Finding out what I did was slightly more complicated than anticipated…
Normally I organize my files based on date. That method works out pretty well for me a majority of the time. In looking back I came to the realization that 90% of my files from between May and September of 2016 are all jumbled due to a little technical glitch with my own brain.
A little back story is necessary I guess. I have a master “SORT” folder on every hard drive. That’s where new files go to be sorted and organized by date/type. I’ve been using this method for a couple of years. On the particular drive associated with 2016 I have a mess of recovered files in my sort folder. In August or September of last year I was trying to clean up data and organize stuff and I happened to accidentally format my portable 1tb drive. This is where I kept all of my recent files. Panic ensued, obviously… because I did not appropriately back up my files like I was supposed to. After several hours worth of work I rescued most of the files but many more were lost to the digital ether.
.Back on course – Anyways! June 19th, 2016. I was in a relatively new apartment, working at a restaurant that wasn’t doing great, just graduated from college and struggling to take care of my 6 month old son and pay rent. Tensions were high, anxiety was high, money was low, ideas were bountiful.
Fast forward 1 year and Tensions are lower, anxiety fluctuates a lot, money is not so low, ideas are arguably more bountiful. The kid is now almost a year and a half old and making me proud with every new word and skill acquired. I am in a new, more comfortable spot and this father’s day has helped me realize this. Two years ago, if you asked me what I would be doing right now, I wouldn’t have put my money on a nice breakfast with family followed by lunch with extended family finishing with a rock climbing date night with my favorite lady and drinks after. I have created a new, interesting life for myself and I have no idea where its leading, but I can assure the outsider that it will be an interesting journey.
This year, I thank my father and the fathers that have shaped this world into a place where my sweet son can survive and gain his footing. I think I’m getting a stronger grip on things around me, not unlike the grip necessary to keep yourself from falling while rock climbing.
I recall quite vividly the time that I climbed a rock wall at eagle’s landing. I was young, weak, and scared. Climbing the rock wall wasn’t the problem, being suspended several meters away from the ground with one person preventing me from falling might have been. I locked up. I was probably 40 ft from the ground when I completely froze. I’m not quite sure how I got down, but I remember it was an ordeal. I felt more comfortable as I was stuck there, but still couldn’t gain control.
Today, I climbed to the top of the rock wall over a dozen times. I repeatedly tried and tried and climbed and not once did I slip or fall. This sums up my life at the moment; I try and I try and I climb, not once will I completely fall. 2017 is half over, I can’t climb back down and re-experience that. I need to maintain momentum and touch on the things that solidify my family and life.
I’ve always been all over the place, maybe I need to look up?